You know you've played too much MTA/GTA when:

[Si|ent]

You have to create a database for an exam and you use vice city car stats.

You play counterstrike and wonder why the Terrorists don't fall over when you shoot them with a shotgun

You notice your children are playing with thier toy cars and making toy soldiers 'jack' them and saying 'wasted' when one dies.

You wonder why your car doesnt explode when you drive through a puddle.

You forget vehicles have gears and end up travelling everywhere at 25 mph in 1st with the engine screaming.

You freak out when your banks staff wont allow you to walk into its back office.

You see an icecream van and consider phoning the drug squad.

You can't pass an off-licence without thinking about molotov spamming.

You see someone riding a BMX and think 'Lucky git has San Andreas'.

You run into the nearest doorway when you hear a helicopter in the sky.

You see a customised car speeding down the road and shout 'Hacker!'

You go everywhere in a pair of dirty jeans and a leather jacket or a Bermuda shirt and slacks.

[Black Dragon]

You go everywhere in a pair of dirty jeans and a leather jacket or a Bermuda shirt and slacks.

whoa! i do that!

[Bishop]

You forget vehicles have gears and end up travelling everywhere at 25 mph in 1st with the engine screaming

rofl.

You say "owned" at random every 5 seconds, even when alone.

[MAD_BOY]

You forget vehicles have gears and end up travelling everywhere at 25 mph in 1st with the engine screaming

rofl.

You say "owned" at random every 5 seconds, even when alone.

that's more for n00bs you know...

[Bishop]

No comment

[[TTH]Mr.X]

if ur a police officer u shoot at every car u see and wonder why won't they try 2 carkill me ?

every time u drive a car and u see a uportunity 2 jump u wonder why u did not make it and ended up in the hospital and wonder how come i can't just respawn

[Morgage]

You beat up people in the street then jack a bike and go to pay n spray.

[[TTH]Mr.X]

when u pick a hooker off tha street drive 2 a abandon spot and stand still for a while and think that's it

[Point Blank]

when your argue with some one and try to press f9 to ignore him

when your playin a b-ball game you try to press f11 to check the score

if you get in a shoot out u start jumping around

you sweep the ground with your heli blades to kill people (for people that really can fly)

when you try jumping into roofs to get to the next room

when you constently say pwned no mater what

when your teacher makes a mistake you call him a nub

when you try pressing a key to speak (teamspeak )

when you get weather you dont like you try doing a !sun

also when you have a number of holes in your wall next to your computer for getting lamed

(i got 3:O

[DrEaM4D]

... When you step in the police car and relise that there's no 5 ammo shotgun in there

... When you jump of the roof and think that you'll only lose 5 health points

... When you go to Miami because there's a beach with a BF Injection on it.

... When you're scared of water because you'll drown

... When you suicide because you've 3 health points left and die because you'll respawn with 100 health points

... When you cry if there's no dodo in your garage

... When you wonder why there's no 6 star thingy flying above your head

... When you shoot at cars because you think that it won't be synched trough the server

... When you pickup a hooker and after the "fun" you kill her to get your money back

... When you say "OMG TEH L33TN3S SI TRYING TOE FEET MEH WIT INSOELTING FARGOETSTANG POEWRZ!!!!!111" and noone gives a shit

... When you wonder why you didn't get banned because you had tuned your car

... When you wonder why some people won't step in your car when you ask them to kill some sailors

[Point Blank]

... When you wonder why you didn't get banned because you had tuned your car

lol thats a good one

[MAD_BOY]

when u pick a hooker off tha street drive 2 a abandon spot and stand still for a while and think that's it

hey, i allready posted that one (in other words)

[crazy_man]

when you do a drive-by on people cause it wont do anybody hurt...

[Sexy_Flare]

When you think your an Legend killer.

[Scar]

You try to /slap your parents and wonder where the trout is.

You get splattered by a car and you wonder why you end up in hospital with plastic surgery being implanted and all of your bones are broken.

You try to !ban somebody but it doesn't work.

You wonder why you don't shout random comments at citizens.

You wonder why your grandma got up twice when you shot her with the Stubby.

You wonder why somebody threw the pizza back at you when you threw it at them.

You get upset when your in jail for two years and think wheres ken.

You think it's normal to fly out of a 500ft window.

You help cops in the street and wonder why you didn't get a $50 good citizen bonus.

You kill somebody and don't expect the cops to come after you.

You try to take over Miami.

You randomly kick the shit out of a tramp in the middle of the street.

[Boss]

When you shoot at the m00n with a sniper and wonder why nothing happens.

[Jani]

when you try using the !stat command at work to see how much work you have done.

when you stroll into a miltiary base with an automatic weapon, and randomly expect to be able to steal an apache attack helicopter and get away with it.

when you try to compensate for lag whilst on holiday.

when you suddenly desynchronise whilst walking down the street.

when you turn off your modem to avoid getting in a fight.

when you can stroll around your neighbourhood with a minigun, and not stand out.

when you search random hedges and expect to find shotguns or golf carts.

when you get into a fight with a large gang of people, and somehow come out better off than everyone else.

you get into a gunfight and shoot 10 feet ahead of the person, and then when they turn and kill you, accuse them of lagging/cheating/modding/laming

[[KFC] El Burro]

You get a job in an Ice Cream van and sell Crack to people.

You drive your Dads Suzuki GSXR 750 out of the 40th floor window of a Skyscraper... and wonder why you died

You get shot in the Face so you go buy a Pizza

You go to the local Club and demand your $10,000 share of the assets, then randomly kill everyone with grenades

Death holds no fear; You'll respawn in a second

[MAD_BOY]

just thought of this one:

....someone kills you and you scream "LAGGER"

[Scorp]

I keep checking for stats in GTA singleplayer

I press tab all the time heh (I've bound it to that)

wooo new page.

[Cerbera]

1. You cannot speak because there is no "T" key.
   
2. You wonder why you can only carry one weapon.
   
3. You are blown away by the number of interior locations...and by how aggressive the citizens inside them are.
   
4. You can't figure out why people are driving on the left.
   
5. You become chronically dehydrated because you don't realise you need to drink.
   
6. You wonder why the terrain is has no big water-ski jumps on it.
   
7. You demand that the police give you $50 after you punch a pickpocket.
   
8. You can't understand why your legs are covered in urine.
   
9. You try complaining to an admin about how slow the time setting is.
   
10. You think the animations file must be corrupted because you always fall over when trying to do big martial arts kicks.
    
11. You lie face-down in the road because you forgot how good tarmac smelt.
    
12. You think the maximum population of Earth is 32.

(Anyone else noticed this is like those Top Ten lists from The Late Show?)

(EDIT) My favourites from other people so far are below.

when you search random hedges and expect to find shotguns or golf carts.

You try to /slap your parents and wonder where the trout is.

... When you wonder why some people won't step in your car when you ask them to kill some sailors

you wonder why nobody has a little healthbar+name floating in front of them

You see someone riding a BMX and think 'Lucky git has San Andreas'.

You see a customised car speeding down the road and shout 'Hacker!'

You go everywhere in a pair of dirty jeans and a leather jacket or a Bermuda shirt and slacks.

You think traffic lights are just to make the surrounding puddles of water glow attractively.

You wake up in the morning and can't move for a few seconds and figure its just the spawn delay.

when you see yourself in 3rd person view sometimes/always

You think that you can enter any vehicle as passenger.

You freak out when it starts to snow, since you've never seen it before.

Edited February 22, 2005 by Guest

[MAD_BOY]

you wonder why cars on parking places are locked

[XcR]

you randomly say pwned, or owned once u see something funny (or when u beat someone in a game of scrabble!)

soz if this has been said, didnt read the thread

[Shib]

you randomly say pwned, or owned once u see something funny (or when u beat someone in a game of scrabble!)

soz if this has been said, didnt read the thread

^^ Stole

[Scar]

When you shoot hatians for nothing.

When you realise you never get hungry.

When you perform a drive-by and there is no affect on the victim.

You try to kill your friend but wonder where the radar is.

When you say f*ck it, I'll spend the rest of the time on the mtavc forum.

When you shoot a beachball just for the fun of it.

When you decide to jump off your house roof because you think it will save time.

You blow up your army's armed chopper because you think it's worthless.

When you snipe Blaire's head, you wonder why it didn't fall off.

When you get inside a wall whilst riding your bike, get off and wonder why you don't teleport to the cafe.