War Stories

[[mr.]Mr.Hat]

This is last post in this forum mabay ever. I was playing with some one named mr.White and he was a mexican I was a cop as aloways. I pinned him for 5 mins and he some how got out of the pin. so i went on the roof of his spawn and thew moltives at him that i drove a bike in there a killed his ass. if I can a mex with the police skin that so can any one.

ps. Its cold KungFuGrip let me in

[eL bAd]

This was a while back when i learned this trick but every time it works, i laugh my ass off.

First I'd get into a intense car chase, make sure the guy is about 3-4 seconds behind. Make my way over to Starfish Island, where there is a little alley heading towards some docks. I'd quickly pull in there while the persuer passes by. Then I'd set my car up right at the end of the alley (so they cant see the end of the docks) now as they speed towards me thinking that there gonna T-bone me, I slam the car in reverse and watch them go flying into the Great Blue Sea. SPLASH!!!!

I cant believe how many ppl fall for this trick.

[[KFC]KungFu]

very funny I have to try that, I hope I never fall for it.

If you read anywhere else in here you know about robre who posted a cheat under a respected members name saying that it was made but KFC and sent by Wheelmn. He was caught by the MTA team, and Mods and we were cleared.

robre was online lastnight playing and it didn't go well for him. Me (kfg, not Metm) Wheelmn and CrUnCh stood in the robber spawn and unofficial banned him by not letting him live for a second.

After we were done with him we had him booted. I have read the transcript a bunch of times it' always entertaining. I edited out some chatter but I left the funny parts.

[KFC]Wheelmn killed robre.

[KFC]KungFu killed robre.

[KFC]CrUnCh killed robre.

[KFC]Wheelmn killed robre.

[KFC]Wheelmn killed robre.

[KFC]Wheelmn killed robre.

robre: you so died on my screen

andrew has joined the game.

[KFC]CrUnCh: shut up

[KFC]KungFu killed robre.

[KFC]KungFu killed robre.

robre: see this server sucks

[KFC]CrUnCh: u suck man

[KFC]Wheelmn: HAHAhahahaha

[KFC]KungFu: you suck cheating ass

[KFC]CrUnCh killed robre.

[KFC]CrUnCh killed robre.

robre killed [KFC]CrUnCh.

[KFC]CrUnCh: damn

[KFC]CrUnCh killed robre.

[KFC]KungFu killed robre.

[KFC]KungFu: don't with kfc

[KFC]CrUnCh killed robre.

(spx)Stealth killed robre.

[KFC]KungFu: your name is over get a new one, your done

[KFC]Wheelmn: lol

[KFC]KungFu: anywhere you go Im there

(spx)Stealth: see i killed you

[KFC]KungFu killed robre.

[KFC]KungFu: owned, bitch your over

[KFC]KungFu: can we get robre and his cracked clients booted

[KFC]Wheelmn killed andrew.

robre has been kicked from the game.

andrew: shit

andrew: lol

[KFC]CrUnCh: goodbye!

[KFC]Wheelmn: lol thanks admin

[KFC]KungFu: that's all thanks, well maybe wheelmn lol, j/k

[Black Dragon]

[KFC]Wheelmn: lol thanks admin

[KFC]KungFu: that's all thanks, well maybe wheelmn lol, j/k

:arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup:

this part RULES

[[KFC]KungFu]

[KFC]Wheelmn: lol thanks admin

[KFC]KungFu: that's all thanks, well maybe wheelmn lol, j/k

:arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup::arrowup:

this part RULES

yeah it would have been funny if he was booted

but sad if he was banned

[Guest]

lol kfg, check ur thread. ur not the only one that pwned his ass

[[KFC]KungFu]

lol check your forum I know, lol

What gets me is that he switched servers to get pwned? wtf

Is he a masicist? It's not fun beating him up if he likes it

We caught up with him later and I totally owned him, he didn't have a chance. He joined 187 they are fans of me too. I cleaned out the malibu KFC was holding it down with RoadApples, but I had to leave.

Some guys named MasterEvil and WURM were hating to, I get them all the time now. It's like Bruce Lee at the top of his game every wannabe tough guy wants to fight me. You get the same thing I know.

[Guest]

he joined RR he was in the game with there tag.

[[KFC]KungFu]

another one

RR?

Never heard of them, doesn't say much that they let him in, Now they are marked too.

[Guest]

ramstien renegades. i think i saw that they had a topic in the gang section, theyre not a completely new gang i think hes just wearing tags tho. all i wanna do is just pwn him, if i find out that hes in a gang il just get in contact with the leader and have the bitch booted

[Slothman]

now we all know that if some moron is using a gang tag, it doesn't always mean they were accepted into tht gang. rr could be another victim of the guys overpowering lameness.

if not, rr should realize their mistake, and should pay a little more attention before accepting people.

[Si|ent]

Back on topic:

It was back in the days of 0.1 when men were men and vice city was just a new frontier ripe for exploiting, the K boys and I had travelled over from Liberty to grab a slice of the action, a big slice. Think of a slice of cake that a polite old lady cuts for herself to eat after her eleven o'clock cup of tea, well the rest of the cake is the size of slice we had in mind.

We'd packed up the tools of our trade and travelled via Dodo to the City of Vice, bad thermals meant abandoning our girl at the outskirts and grabbing whatever vehicles we came across. Mikiro needed somewhere to stash his enormous collection of pornography and we'd heard speak of a like minded retired harbour master working the vice city point lighthouse.

The streets where just what we'd imagined and more, neon signs flashing promises of luxury and pleasure through the shifting mist, gun toting honeys watching us pass by in covoy then seemingly remembering too late to fire off a few rounds in our direction as some warped local version of a warm welcome.

The mist shifted around us and in the distance there was the lighthouse, we turned off the main strip onto the golden sands and headed for it, Mikiros palms had begun to sweat, i could tell by his erratic driving. Posty decided he'd be the one to get there first and headed over a rise to our right. We thought nothing of this, he was a kid who had to be first if he had the chance. Then a flash of orange flame and BOOM, the lighthouse lake had claimed its first VCK victim, whilst we mourned the loss of Postys pcj600 we pulled onto the rock outcrop fronting the dominating structure, got out of our collection of vehicles and stretched our legs, leaving the engines running in case anyone should need a ride out in a hurry.

It was quiet, too quiet. Warily we approached the lighthouse steps and guns drawn, entered the base of the building. Captain Perv, the retired Harbourmaster had smoked his last kipper. All that remained was his souwester, a large pool of congealing blood and a lingering odour of sardines. Someone had known we were coming. Mikiro shouted to johnnyboy to start bringing in the many boxes of pornography and i climbed the spiralling staircase to the light platform to take in the view. No sooner had I leant against the cold metal rail when I spotted a cloud of dust rising on the beach to the North, something or someone was heading our way, and FAST.

Scrambling down the stairs i shouted a warning to the boys 'Incoming, North, get ready!' and we scrambled out into the glaring sunlight, hastily checking our guns where locked and loaded. We took positions and then they came, 4 of them. Johnny took 2 out with a well placed grenade, sending thier smoking hulks tumbling down the sands into the awaiting sea. Another changed direction and headed away from us, but the fourth seemed determined to run us down, we concentrated fire on his vehicle and relief flooded through me when i saw it burst into flame as it crested the slope in front of me.

The driver bailed and rolled from the comet just as it belched a searing fireball. But we had regained our composure, we where in our element and the VCK synergy kicked in as we all simultaniously reached for our 12 bores and made mincedmeat of the guy.

Perhaps carving our rightfull slice of this fair city was going to take a little more effort than we'd originally expected. But slice it we would.

[Ransom]

lol very funny, yet very goofy and bizzare

I like the pics! Nice illustration! Loved the 5 vs. 1 shooting pic lmao... odd how its so bright though.

(Yes, I actually did read it couldn't miss out on the rare comedy of mrbump)

[Guest]

i just had my first teamspeak experience, and wheelman made it

heres how it happened -

we were all having a robber spawn war, well tankboy came in with a chopper and killed wheelman so he complained about choppers. well the next time i died i got into a chopper, and made a pass over wheelman and slothy and killed slothy. wheelman then proceeded to run, and as he was running he was talking mad shit about how theres no way in hell i was gonna kill him with a chopper and etc. i got him into a corner, and as he was trying to flee like the rat he is i killed him. it was one of the funniest moments in mta that iv ever had

[Slothman]

too bad no one could hear you deathb. try looking at all yer volume controls to see if thay are all up, nut just main volume, maybe next time we can actually talk

[JohnnyBlaze]

those were the days mr.bill...those were the days

[Guest]

lol you just confused bump with bill... bad johnny!

[Ransom]

those were the days mr.bill...those were the days

Just making sure to exploit the mistake!

[Gamefreek]

Probably the funniest fight i had was today.

It was me vs. ULK Bloody, ULK Samurai and ULK Element. i came in with a heli and when i got out it was 3v1. So first i took out Samurai with a stubby (he had a m60), then i came to Bloody who also had a m60 and took him out no prob. But when i came to Element i shot him once, and a car ran him over. I decided to take him out when i had the chance. The funny thing is i took out all 3 of them, yet i was killed by a n00b.

A n00b!!!

[Si|ent]

hey lets start a war stories thread..no, hang on, this WAS one.

Cmon peeps lets have some war stories, mine owns you!

(Thats stories, not "It was funny when i fell out of a helicopter and lost 12 health.")

[Ransom]

Ok, here's a short one:

I killed deathb a couple times repeatedly in the server with a chopper and he got pissed. He proceeded to battle me on the roof for the heli along with 4 others and eventually managed to get off the ground with it. He then proceeded to try like hell to slice me up...

instead of being a pussy like everyone else and running down the stairs for protection inside the robber house, I ran around the blades, and when he bashed into the roof I quickly boosted the chopper and sent him flying through the blade...

He didn't respawn back at the robber spawn to get revenge on me

[Guest]

lol ransom i love how u exagerate urself so much heres the rest of the story

i got u down on the ground the third time u tried it against me, and proceeded to give u a nice present in the form of a respawn, you then proceeded to robber war with me, during which i repeatedly beat him so much that he eventually just got pissed and left anyways, heres my story for ya =p

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we met the bxk clan yesterday, they were confident in there abilities (especially yankees) so wheelman challenged yankees to a one on one. the first round was over incredibly fast, as the second that yankees walked inside the door wheelman shot him with his stubby, putting him on the ground where he was an easy kill. after that yankees spent a good 5 minutes complaining about how wheelman was "waiting for him" and how "it wasnt fair" and bla bla bla. anyways, they then decided to continue the match.

round 2-20 -> wheelman ended it so quickly i dont even remember what happened

i dont think that yankees managed to get one kill on wheel the entire hour that they had there war. but he would always spend a good 3 minutes after every round coming up with some reason that he lost

well after that a couple of yankees friends came along (there was one that was trying to interfere in the match with his stubby but i took care of him quite nicely whenever he came close to the studio ) so they decided that they wanted a 3 on 3. we agreed and the teams were set and wheelman, myself, and one other kfc (i think it was crunch) teamed up and met at the mall.

now il tell you, iv seen some bad teamwork but these guys were horrible, they would arrive one at a time (occasionally in pairs) and just rush head on at us. they managed to kill crunch a couple of times, but other then that they just got beat round after round after round. it was one of the funniest things that i have ever seen

now heres the best part, everytime yankees (theyre leader) would die he would spend a good 5 minutes at the robber spawn complaining about how unfair it was while his teamates rushed back to us to meet thier untimely deaths

we were on teamspeak the entire time just laughing like mad as they came and got just completely owned for over 2 hours before they eventually quit

now i met them later, and they claimed that they "pwned the hell outa us," i kept silent while he was talking about this, as i dont even think he knew i was there. but just listening to him claiming he pwned us gave me one of the best laughs i have ever had

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anyways, thats my war story for ya =p

[Si|ent]

hmm

*weeps for the missing prose and looks at what are basically dry war reports with '....funnyest thing i ever...' thrown in somewhere to try and validate them*.

[Guest]

ya ya, that was my attempt at a good war story without screenshots =p

[[KFC]KungFu]

I agree with Mr Bump it wasn't the screenshots that made his story it was the writing. I will spin a tale worthy of the thread that houses "How MrBump won the West"

btw,

Nothing bad written about Yankees is bad but MrBump has risen the bar.